To Have and to Hold

Wow! It is now only 116 days until the big day! I can't believe how quickly my "long" engagement is passing by! So... as many have pointed out, time has flown by without so much as a word from me on this blog.

To get you all caught up, I thought I'd start with some drama surrounding our wedding. S and I get along and talk too well to have any real arguments over planning and creating this wedding, so we have to leave it up to others to create the drama for us! Because, seriously, how can you pull off an honest wedding if there isn't any conflict!?

The first batch of what S and I now refer to as the "really... you're really going there" moments involved our wedding party. It was brought to the attention of my soon-to-be groom that there was a groomsman that was MY friend, not his. This, of course, is quite absurd seeing as how I have no brothers! WRONG!! The solo groomsman that belongs to me practically IS my brother, but, lest this wedding gets planned without drama, someone had to point out this conflict of interest. After all, how, while still loving my fiance whole-heartedly, can I ask another man to be in my wedding!? My answer was simple: S and I trust each other unfailingly (why shouldn't we?), and in knowing that, this wasn't an issue. Additionally, this groomsman in question has been like my brother since we were in diapers; his brother is performing the ceremony! Needless-to-say, our point was taken and no further comment has been made on the issue.

Now, to the middle-school level drama (I feel like an expert on this type, and I can spot it a mile away). Everyone loves weddings, right!? WRONG! Those who have walked the aisle, said "I do," and have since said "I don't" seem to feel it is their unalienable right to tell you what a fool you are being. The jabs come from a wide variety of angles and a variety of people- both those close to you and those who you wouldn't recognize on the subway in New York. It seems that all of the happily married folks congratulate you silently, knowing how successfully happy you are going to be; thus, finding no reason to say otherwise. The unhappily divorced folks, however, find it necessary to spread the wealth of disgruntledness. I have found, though, that no response in this situation (as in Middle School drama situations) is the best way to approach these nay-sayers. When not given the pleasure of your face cringing and your eyes watering, they have no more use for you. I usually just take the comments home, and S and I laugh about how, again, we have to say "really... you're really going there?"  Sometimes, though, a couple good, hard-shouldered friends also help to remind you that they are just being mean.

Finally, some work drama. In October, I checked with my principal about taking some unpaid days off around wedding time to accommodate the honeymoon immediately following our ceremony. In October, this was fine. A couple weeks ago, my principal approached me and said that our superintendent would nix my request in light of his and the school-board's decision to disallow any teacher from taking more than five consecutive days off. I was shocked. Because I felt there would be no issue, I already booked the trip to Fiji- to the tune of $3000 in nonrefundable deposit! Obviously, I wasn't going to let this go lightly.
I walked across the street and decided I would talk to the man himself. We discussed his reasons: staff will abuse this and take extended holidays, it ruins continuity in the classroom, he doesn't want to have to play God and decide which reason is rational, etc. To which I responded that this was my WEDDING, not some random vacation I had planned. I also calmly reminded him all of the free work I had put in to the district: being on multiple committees to advance this district, writing grants without being paid for time, etc. He acknowledged my commitment to the district, and I told him this discouraged me from continuing with that commitment. That if the thanks I get for all of my additional time is denying me two additional days for my wedding, I would have to reconsider the dedication I had to this district (not quite so bluntly, as this IS my superintendent).
He came up with many plans of how to go about this. One of these plans included writing up my three personal days (he was SHOCKED I had these saved still) and the two unpaid, then making a deal with my principal to make up the time for the other two days; they would worry about the subs later. I stopped him and pointed out that this plan would essentially pay me for five days as well as a sub. for seven. My plan had asked to pay me for three and a sub for seven. It just didn't add up; he agreed. In the end, I have all of my requested days off.

So... drama, drama, drama.  What would a wedding be without it? S and I just hope that none of this drama ever escalates into something more difficult to deal with! If nothing else, we have truly realized that when push comes to shove, we rock in the communication department!